Sometimes I Miss The Good Old Days

We will soon be going on a trip; we'll be gone six days.  Used to be that you could throw some clothes in a bag, put your personal grooming needs in a Dopp kit and be on your way.  Not so easy anymore.  Pack a charger for the cell phone.  Pack a charger for the iPad.  Pack a charger for the camera.  Pack the connector kit to upload photos to the iPad.  Pack the iPad.  The devices which keep us connected now could fill a small bag all by themselves.  Forget one and you can find yourself screwed.

I'm not complaining exactly.  I like the idea of having easy internet access on vacation.  I like the idea of uploading vacation photos at the end of each day and immediately viewing them.  Remember taking vacation photos to the developer and the excitement of picking them up?  Looking at them in the Walgreen's parking lot because you couldn't wait to get home to view them.  It's certainly easier and more convenient now, even if the anticipation is lost in the process.

I guess I'm at an age where I'm conflicted.  I love the new technology and all it provides, but sometimes I miss the good old days.

Welcome Home

By The Big Guy
Senior Contributor

I’ve run out of synonyms. I’ve beaten the hell out of my Roget’s Thesaurus. How many ways can you say “scumbag,” “liar,” “swindler?” And the old Webster’s has taken a beating, too. How many ways can you redefine “corruption,” “extortion,” “hubris?” That’s why this will probably be the last time I return to the topic of the former governor of the Land of Lincoln – Rod Bla….never mind. If you haven’t learned how to pronounce it yet you might be better off just learning the name he’ll be sporting for the next fourteen years or so: Prisoner Number 40892-424. Catchy.

Sometime today, Con-Air will be flying 40892-424 to Denver International Airport and within a few hours of his arrival in the centennial state he will alight from a prison bus at his new home, Federal Correctional Institution Englewood in Littleton, Colorado, just a hop, skip and a jump southwest of Denver, unless, of course, you are behind several coils of concertina wire. And at that time, along with his name and his previous life, he will be stripped of his clothing for the purpose of welcoming procedures. For the next fourteen years, 408…oh what the hell. Let’s just call him 424 for short. For the next fourteen years 424 will learn to get along. He’ll also learn how to clean toilets, fold towels and scrub floors on his hands and knees.

Something else 424 is going to have to learn is humility, because if he doesn’t he could well have the crap beat out of him by the end of the day tomorrow. And things are not looking good. He made a speech Wednesday, his last full day of being with people who call him “Rod” and even “Governor.” When was the last time you saw a convicted felon on his way to Federal prison for over a decade make a speech? See? It’s that hubris thing again. The topic of humility came up but not in a way that will help him in prison. He felt that if he had been more humble perhaps his sentence would have been more lenient. This is a guy who still doesn’t get it.

He stood before neighbors and video cameras from every station in town and rightly confessed to the fact that he had the blessing of living the American dream but then went on to crow about his biggest accomplishments: unilaterally starting programs for which his state had no money. As he closed his ten-minute self-serving farewell he took one final shot at the government, reasserting his contention that he was “on the right side of the law” and that “the truth will prevail.” I don’t think I’ve used the word “fool” yet. So I will here.

There’s one final piece of indoctrination business. Prison mates will give him another name besides 424, a prison nickname that will stick with him well into the decade of the 2020’s. I hope for his sake it won’t be “Mindy.”

Hero Of The Week

Marine Lance Cpl. Joshua L. Torrence
Age:  20
2nd Assault Amphibious Battalion
2nd Marine Division
II Marine Expeditionary Force
Died 14 March, 2005
Anbar Province, Iraq

You Are Who We Thought You Were

Lest you buy into the stereotype that the Deep South is filled with backward thinking, semi-literate, knuckling dragging, racist rednecks, Public Policy Polling headed for Alabama and Mississippi to poll likely Republican primary voters ahead of their states' primaries.  They found exactly what you would expect.

In Alabama 600 people who identified themselves as likely GOP primary voters were asked about President Obama's religious affiliation.  14% said he's a Christian, 45% said he's a Muslim and 41% weren't sure.

Then we have Mississippi.  656 likely GOP primary voters there were asked about Obama's religious preference.  12% say he's a Christian, 52% say he's Muslim and 36% aren't sure.

What does this mean?  Ignorance?  Stupidity?  In-breeding?  Tell a lie often enough and it becomes believable?   All of the above?  I don't know, but I find it funny, scary, perplexing and disgusting all at the same time.

None Of Your Business

Called my sister last week to wish her a Happy Birthday.  Every time I talk to her (once a year, on her birthday) she invariably asks the same question, "What do you do all day?"  It's not just her either.  Family, friends, former co-workers, people I've just met.  "What do you do?"  When I answer "I'm retired" the next words from their mouths is always "What do you do all day?"

I have a stock answer, "I do nothing and I'm getting good at it."  Really though, why are people obsessed with what a retiree does with their day?  Do I have to "do something" to validate my existence?  If I go to Dunkin' Donuts in the morning, watch TV shows I DVR'd, scan my favorite porn sites on the internet, spend two hours on Facebook and maybe take a nap, am I less worthy of living than someone who spends that time in a job?  I think not.  But I'm constantly asked to defend my choice to live an unproductive life.

Might I one day get a part time job?  Maybe.  Might I one day volunteer my time doing something commendable?  Maybe.  Until then I'm happy doing nothing.  And I am very good at it.

Taking Advantage Of Old People

In 1999 my mother needed to be moved into a nursing home.  Unfortunately the only option that made financial sense for my father was for her to have her care paid by Medicaid.  To take advantage of Medicaid benefits, the spouse of the person using the benefit is only allowed by law to have a certain amount of assets.  If you have assets exceeding the limit you must "spend down" what you have until your assets reach their maximum allowed.  This led to the ridiculous exercise of my dad and I spending a Wednesday afternoon at a car dealership picking out a new car and paying for it in cash.  Didn't even bargain for a good deal; after all, we were trying to spend money, not save it.

After watching that experience Mrs. Grumpy and I decided that we never wanted to be in that position.  So we decided to purchase long term health care insurance, something that far too few Americans do.   We purchased policies with The Hartford in 2000.  Our policy has a 5% a year inflation rider, a provision for home health care and because we bought it in our early 50's the premium for both policies is a reasonable $164.93 a month.  Like any insurance, we may never use it and the premiums are money down the drain, but we considered it an expense we would pay for peace of mind.  We didn't want to be 80 and have to start spending our assets in order to qualify for Medicaid coverage.

Yesterday we both got letters from The Hartford informing us that on May 7, the anniversary date of our policies, our combined premium would go from $164.93 to $313.38.  You don't need to look for your calculator, that's a 90% increase.  90 fucking percent.  Needless to say, I was floored.  Who raises anything 90% in one fell swoop?

I'm assuming they are looking at health care costs skyrocketing with the Baby Boomers soon to swamp the system.  Or they're afraid of what the government is going to make them provide at reasonable costs, so they're going to recoup it on the backs of their current policy holders.  They provide the option of avoiding the increase by dropping the inflation coverage from 5% to 2.4% annually, or dropping certain riders, both of which I'm loathe to do.  If health care cost projections hold true, without the 5% inflation protection we could end up paying several hundred dollars a day out of our pockets when the time comes.  That is a way to quickly go broke.

After considering all the variables and options, we've decided to not be penny wise and pound foolish, suck it up and pay the additional $148.45 a month.  In the great scheme of things we probably waste that much each month on stuff we don't need.  Still, I wish they had used some lube.

**3/9/2012 Breaking News:  Auto insurance bill arrived today.  59% increase in the premium.  Somebody is out to get us.  Already went online and made friends with the Gekko.

The Liars Are Back On Mulberry Street

By The Big Guy
Senior Contributor

It pretty much doesn’t matter where you live but for the past few months and continuing through around noon on the sixth of November the liars are back. Advertising that would never, never ever be permitted to run on television and radio, in newspapers and on billboards anywhere in the country is suddenly in all those places. It’s the return of the dreaded political advertising. 

If you haven’t seen or heard anything yet, you will. If you are unfortunate enough to live in what is humorously referred to as a swing state, you have probably been bombarded with well more negative information about every single person on your primary ballot than you could ever need. Why would we vote for any of them since they're all portrayed as crooks, embezzlers, child molesters, frauds, philanderers, or heaven forbid, Washington insiders. And hey kids, it doesn’t matter what side of the aisle you sit on because this is a universally accepted practice.

All political ads have one thing in common. They are all lies. Perhaps that’s just a touch extreme, but just a touch. Let’s say that if they’re not lies then they are half-truths or words taken out of context or facts based on a false premise. The only safe way to deal with all the negativity is to ignore them as best you can. That also goes for the ads that tell you what a wonderful individual the candidate is because who among them can’t project a lovely public persona, head for home and swing their foot toward the family chihuahua perhaps causing the pup to become airborne. Happens every day. Both sides of the aisle.

So what do we do? We need a law, or at least something that holds political advertising to the same standards of truth in advertising as Tide and Pepsi. Sadly, the guys who make the laws are the same guys (on both sides of the aisle) who are happy as clams with the status quo. It’s these same happy clams that passed the great “Do Not Call” law to save us from the nuisance of sales calls invading our homes and then exempted political calls under the pretense that they were educational in nature when they’re probably the biggest nuisance of all. I guess we shouldn’t hold our collective breath waiting for any relief from the District.

Our choices seem to be as follows: (1) Get used to it. (2) Leave the country. (3) Turn off your TV, your radio, don’t answer your phone, don’t read a newspaper, and when you’re driving, don’t look up. And remember that November 6^th is only 243 days away.

Hero Of The Week

Army Capt. Gussie M. Jones
Age:  41
31st Combat Support Hospital
Died 7 March, 2004
Baghdad, Iraq

Go Ahead, Make Fun Of Me

We all have guilty pleasures in life, things we probably would rather our friends and family not know about.  Like gorging on ice cream when no one is looking.  Or eating an entire jar of olives in one sitting.  Or wearing women's underwear.

I'm going to come clean on my guilty pleasure.  I'm hooked on the "Real Housewives of..." series.  Orange County, New Jersey, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, New York; I've watched them all at one time or another.  Here's my personal rankings.

5.  Real Housewives of New York:  Easily the weakest of the franchise.  The women aren't all that attractive,  there's no real drama, and besides their opulent lifestyles, nothing really compelling going on.

4.  Real Housewives of Beverly Hills:  In totality, easily the hottest group of women in the whole franchise.  Some of them don't like each other, but the drama seems contrived.  Kim's drinking is always good for some laughs and Camille Grammer's bitchiness is entertaining.

3.  Real Housewives of Atlanta:  Interesting from the standpoint that the majority of the women are African American and several obviously don't like each other.  There's nothing fake about their animosity and cattiness.  A couple are ex-wives of current or former NFL players and it's funny seeing them have to fight for child support.

2.  Real Housewives of Orange County:  The original and once the best.  All blonds, all fake boobs and some real drama.  I don't care who it is, when someone throws a drink on someone at a posh backyard party, it's entertainment at its' finest.

1.  Real Housewives of New Jersey:  Now my undisputed favorite.  The women are all Italian, the husbands and boyfriends are involved, unlike most of the other shows, and their is some real hatred.  Teresa is one of the most despicable human beings ever on TV and her daughter pulling out a handful of Danielle's hair in Season 2 will always be a reality highlight. 

Lately, I've also been giving a look at Mob Wives.  Real wives (or exes) of real mobsters.  The mob guys are either in jail or dead.  These women have absolutely no class and aren't bothered showing the lack thereof.   While the Real Housewives were obviously picked at least in part for their looks, this group was picked because of who their husbands are.  Not so much eye candy here, but more grittiness. 

Figure This Out

I came across this on Buzzfeed.  The more I look at this young woman the more grotesque she seems.  I can't figure out if she has had an allergic reaction to something or if she paid to have her lips enhanced and it all went horribly wrong.  Or maybe this is the look she was going for.

Take your hand and cover her mouth.  Do that and she is very attractive.  Take your hand away and it's hard to notice anything but those lips.  The posters on the wall behind her indicate she may be at Comic Con.  Is there some comic icon she is trying to emulate? 

I'm just intrigued by this.  Did she mean this as the end result?  Is she happy with her appearance?  What was she thinking?  Do children run when they see her?  Does she have a job?  Anybody out there know who this is and the story behind it?

Incredible

I was reading a story about former NFL receiver Terrell Owens and his financial problems.  Basically, he's broke.  In the midst of a fire sale of homes.  Already sold one for half of what he paid for it, and has two condos for sale in California.  The condos are three blocks apart.  I understand professional athletes having a home in the city where they play and another in the city where they spend the offseason, but two condos three blocks apart?  I don't get the reasoning.

Anyway, while reading this article I came across an astounding statistic.  The author didn't supply a source for this assertion, so keep that in mind.  But he claims that 60% of all NBA players are insolvent within 5 years of leaving the league.  For NFL players it's an incredible 75%.

Homes, cars, jewelry, guns, women; I know all the pitfalls.  But those are stunning numbers. 

Back In Time

By The Big Guy
Senior Contributor


An old friend e-mailed me this picture the other day. You can tell just how old a friend by the sign at the bottom. Eighteen six year olds at a time well before Sesame Street and preschool, learning how to add and subtract, how to make friends, how to exist in a place without your parents to take care of you five hours a day.

I spent hours looking at the faces in the picture. Yes, one of them belongs to me, but that’s all I’m going to say. I looked at my six year old face and tried like hell to remember how I might have thought things were going for me at that point. Of course when you’re six, I don’t know if that’s even a concept that might be floating around in your head. Good or bad, you probably haven’t had too many points of comparison yet.

From what I could remember, they all seemed to be reasonable kids, some smarter than others, some nicer than others, some more talented than others. There was Mary, who coincidentally would have celebrated her sixteenth birthday yesterday because she was born on February 29^th. There was Eddie whose parents owned a catering business and banquet hall. There was Larry, my first best friend, and Betsy who I seem to recall I promised to marry, and Barbara who was already telling people she was going to be a scientist. I remember fifteen of the eighteen faces, first and last names, and it’s making me crazy that I can’t think of the other three.

The picture exercise led to more pictures and then copies of old school newspapers and then high school yearbooks and then wildly digging through boxes of stuff trying to find even more things that my mom would have carefully cut out of newspapers and set aside to show her friends and someday pass along to me. But eventually I found myself once again staring at that class of first graders. Two of them I still keep in touch with, although it’s usually just an e-mail three or four times a year. Three more I spent time with at our last class reunion and will probably do the same at the next. One sadly has passed away. Barbara became an astronomer, but she did not make it to her sixtieth birthday. The others – no idea. I guess that’s just life and I doubt that’s anything that would have crossed my mind when I was six years old. Certainly I had more important things on my mind then, like whose turn it was to take out the dodge ball for recess.

Eighteen six year olds, sitting or standing in a group just outside the school, staring at a photographer and his camera, having no idea of the significance of who might decide to stare back at their image almost sixty years later. Maybe some of them are thinking that the whole endeavor is a waste of time. Maybe I’m one of them. Now I’m thinking that maybe my day with the old pictures was just a waste of time. And then I decide that every once in a while wasting time is absolutely fine.

Hero Of The Week

Army Spc. Lizbeth Robles
Age:  31
365th Transportation Company
68th Corps Support Battalion
43rd Area Support Group
Died 1 March, 2005
Bayji, Iraq

I Love Me Some NASCAR

My attitude regarding NASCAR can pretty much be summed up as take it or leave it.  That has now changed with the debut last night of the new driver of the #10 car.  I would watch her make left turns all night.

How Do You Support This Idiocy?

President Obama has expressed on many occasions that he would like an education system in America that would allow every American to go to college.  Not make them go to college, not require them to go to college, not penalize them for not going to college, but rather make it possible for every American who wants a college education to get one.

Former Sen. Rick Santorum, the latest darling of the lunatic fringe of the Republican Party, called the president a "snob" for expressing his hope that every American could have the opportunity to attend college.  Santorum went further with some mumbo jumbo about how the president wanted everyone to go to college so they could be transformed into his (the president's) image by liberal professors.

I would like one Santorum supporter, or any conservative for that matter, to explain to me how this comment is justified, much less worthy of your support.