Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Hero Of The Week

Army Capt. Orlando A. Bonilla
Age:  27
1st Squadron
7th Cavalry Regiment
1st Cavalry Division
Died 28 January, 2005
Baghdad, Iraq

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Monday, January 26, 2015

Bill Belichick, Science Guy

The controversy over the deflated footballs in New England has quickly moved from the ridiculous to the sublime to the absurd.  Bill Belichick, essentially a convicted cheater, held a surprise press conference late last week to present his latest "evidence" on deflated balls and how they may have gotten that way.

Picture Belichick at the Pat's practice facility in a long, white lab coat and safety googles.  He takes 12 NFL regulation footballs and places them outside in the elements.  Presumably, he periodically checks the balls for inflation.  Guess what?  Over a period of time, due to science and atmospheric conditions, the balls lost air pressure.  Wow!  If he had just done this earlier in the week it could have saved everybody a lot of trouble.

Bill Nye, who I think we can all stipulate, knows a little more about science than Bill Belichik, calls bullshit on this experiment.  Even to the untrained amongst us, Bill's little experiment doesn't explain how the conditions about 60 yds. away, on the Indianapolis sideline, didn't produce the same result in the balls stored there.

I don't believe either Belichick or Tom Brady personally deflated any footballs.  Nor did the college age ball boys.  The investigation should center on the equipment staff.  Somebody there knows something and I doubt that person did anything without being directed to do so.

If Belichick is proven in any way to be involved, he should be suspended for a full season.  Same with Brady.  Whatever happens, those two will still be multi-millionaires.  The poor schmuck who eventually falls on his sword will share an apartment with Bartman.

Friday, January 23, 2015

More New Metal

In all the excitement of my recent surgery and recovery, I forgot one important detail.  Turns out when I initially went to the emergency room immediately following the accident, they should have told me that surgery was a distinct possibility and that I might want to take my wedding ring off before my whole left arm and hand swelled.

When pre-surgery instructions made it clear that no jewelry could be worn, we tried every trick in the book to get my ring off.  Wasn't happening; the knuckle was just too swollen.  During the pre-op prep in the hospital they had to cut the ring off.

When I first got that ring over 21 years ago I just wanted a plain gold band because that's what my Dad wore.  I thought then that you get a wedding ring and you keep that ring forever.  Then I thought about Mrs. Grumpy and her lack of sentiment when she upgraded her engagement/wedding set a few years ago.  This is an opportunity for me to get out of the rut, to carve my own path, to add some swag.  I'm currently leaning toward a tungsten band with or without some kind of inlay.  Maybe have it placed through my nose.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Things That Are Not Happening

By The Big Guy
Senior Contributor

Tuesday night begat another State of the Union message from the President. It was upbeat, hopeful. It prayerfully requested that Republicans and Democrats find their common ground to pass legislation and move the country forward. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

But then, who wants to talk the destiny of the free world, the needs of middle class families who can’t make ends meet, the desire to place an environmentally risky pipeline through the middle of America’s breadbox so that Canada can get their oil safely to China, the regulations we can abandon to protect the fortunes of the fabulously wealthy, when we can talk sports, right?

So, what should we call it? Deflategate? Ballghazi? While I think the former was the popular tag when the story first broke I’m pretty sure that sentiment has shifted over to Ballghazi just because of some certain sexual undertone it connotes, although I’ll be damned if I can define it.

While the NFL is probably not thrilled with the timing, I’m sure they’d rather be expressing their outrage over the proper tire pressure inside a football than they would discussing their progress dealing with domestic violence or traumatic brain injuries to players. In fact I’m willing to bet internally they’d be delighted to talk about their multi-pronged investigation into two pounds of missing air pressure in eleven of twelve game balls right up until kickoff on February 1 rather than being forced to spend one second reviewing those other seamy matters.

I guess there is an expectation that teams will follow the rules of the game and the league will provide checks and balances to make sure they do. However, you’ve got a situation where, per league rules, each team supplies their own footballs. Each team hires the people who handle the footballs, take care of the footballs, inflate the footballs and “groom” the footballs. Somewhere along the line the league will inspect the footballs and turn them back over to the team’s personal ball boys for safekeeping. Somehow this whole process sounds remarkably similar to the league rules about performance enhancing drugs.

While those in the scientific community who know about things like air pressure and temperature, wind resistance and aerodynamics have and will continue to tell us there is no advantage to use of a two p.s.i. underinflated football in a game situation, the key to resolution of the matter comes down to this: Were the footballs properly inflated when inspected by the NFL? I guess we should find out if indeed an inspection took place, which, if it didn’t would surprise no one.

It seems that if the footballs were tampered with, whatever the reason, then the New England Patriots cheated and should be disqualified. The head coach, the quarterback and the ball boys should be banned from the NFL for life. The Indianapolis Colts should be declared winners of the AFC championship game and Andrew Luck and the boys should be gathered up from whatever exotic vacation spots they are currently located, put back in pads and sent out there to Arizona to play in Super Bowl XLIX and make the hometown fans proud. And that is just as likely to happen as Congress is to pass meaningful legislation in the next two years.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Hero Of The Week

Army Capt. Joe F. Lusk II
Age:  25
3rd Battalion
3rd Aviation Brigade
Died 21 January, 2005
Camp Buehring, Kuwait

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Liberals Off Target

American Sniper hit theaters last week and controversy is stirring.  The movie tells the story of Chris Kyle, judged by our own military to be the deadliest American sniper ever.  The movie is adapted from Kyle's autobiography of the same name.  Kyle was a former Navy Seal whose job was to kill the enemy.

There are some on the far Left who are complaining that the movie is an attempt by Director Clint Eastwood to re-write the history of the Iraq war.  Others are complaining that among Kyle's kills were women and children, and that he shouldn't be glorified.

You can all STFU.  This is a movie, not a documentary.  It is meant to be entertaining; some license with the story is to be expected.  Did Kyle kill women and children?  Yes, he did, but not for sport or without first deeming them a threat to American troops.  The critics are taking their complaints out of context, making it seem as if Kyle and other Americans were shooting women and children for the fun of it.  Let's remember the enemy we were (and still are) dealing with.  An enemy that uses hospitals, schools and mosques as cover.  An enemy that uses human shields.  An enemy that puts suicide vests on children.

I read Kyle's book.  I doubt he was a perfect human being or a perfect Seal.  I have no doubt he did his job as he was trained and within the Rules of Engagement at the time.  Sniping at a dead man who can't defend himself is bad form.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Grumpy Old Dog will return tomorrow with a new post.  Thank you for your patience.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Procedure Update

By Nurse Big Guy
Senior Medical Staff

I spoke with Grumpy late Wednesday afternoon, although I doubt he will remember the conversation. He was just out of recovery and in the condition Mrs. Grumpy likes him best – sedated. Mostly he just wanted to tell me not to bother with the eulogy. Funny guy.

Mrs. Grumpy reported that surgery went great and her spouse is now sporting a stainless steel plate in his arm about one by five inches. Stylish.

I’m sure Grumpy will have more grizzly details to pass along in the next few days. Right now he’s spending some quality time under the care of candy stripers, if you know what I mean, before heading for his thatched hut on the banks of the Ohio.

That’s it. Good news all around and the world remains pretty much in the same condition it was twenty-four hours ago. Our medical advice: Don’t fall down – ever.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Hero Of The Week

Marine Cpl. Justin J. Watts
Age:  20
3rd Battalion
1st Marine Regiment
1st Marine Division
I Marine Expeditionary Force
Died 14 January, 2006
Haditha, Iraq

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Them's The Breaks

Yep, that's broken
Last Thursday morning I walked out the front door about 10:00 a.m. to get a haircut.  My car is in a detached garage.  When I hit the opener button inside the garage the door lurched upward about 2" and stopped; tried again, same result.  It's happened before.  Water freezes along the bottom edge the door and prevents it from lifting.  No big deal, a few light kicks along the bottom and it breaks free.  I didn't turn on the overhead lights, a crucial mistake.  If I had I would have seen the ice that had formed INSIDE the garage.

But, I didn't and I didn't.  Long story short, a slip, a hard fall and a proximal fracture of my left humerus.  Met with the Orthopedist yesterday and after hearing the options, chose surgery.  It all goes down Wednesday at 2:45.  I won't bore you with the details, other than I will be setting off airport metal detectors from now on.

All of this to inform you that, depending on post operative recovery, blog posts may be more sporadic than I would like.  I'll do my best to keep up.  If things go horribly wrong, The Big Guy will handle the eulogy.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Why I Hate Ohio State

I take a lot of shit from family and friends for not supporting Ohio State.   Many people think that because one grew up in Ohio that it follows that you are a fan of the state's largest university.  For many people that is the case, even though they have never set foot on the campus, much less attended a single class.  That's OK, I can understand that.   They grew up rooting for Ohio or just don't know any better.   What I don't understand is the people who attended other state schools but root for Ohio.

That gets to the crux of my intense dislike for all things Ohio State.  For many decades Ohio refused to play football against other Div. 1 state schools, almost all of them in the Mid American Conference.  Instead, they would bring in cupcakes from all over the country to fill their non-conference schedule.  Meaning those out of state schools would go home with not just a loss but the huge check that came with playing at Ohio.  That money should have stayed in state for all those years.  Instead, Ohio, fearful of how bad a loss to a MAC school or Cincinnati would look, sent millions of dollars out of state.  It eventually took intervention by the State Legislature to force them to play (and pay) in state programs.

So, yeah, SCREW THEM.  Go Ducks.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

It's Been A Great Year

By The Big Guy
Senior Contributor

You know what I really can’t stand? All those end of the year reviews just bug me. The biggest news stories of the year, the hottest music artists of the year, the greatest sports stars of the year, the most incredibly stupid reality shows of the year. They’re all over the place from the middle of December until the first weekend of January. Every newspaper columnist, every TV show, every news program, every website and every Twitterer has a point of view, a look back at the year for you to read, the reality being that this allows them to not have to write something truly original during the holidays. So we are inundated with these mindless, pointless, meaningless lists that are neither entertaining nor informative. What to do???

Why wait until the end of the year? Let’s get the year in review out of the way right now. Screw the next fifty-one weeks. We can take that look back today and that’s that. Nothing to irritate people as we drag ourselves to the end of December. So, without further ado, here is my very own 2015: The Year in Review! Enjoy.

Wow. 2015. What a year it has been. Let’s start with what was probably the biggest story of the year, Afghanistan security forces once again taking charge of security in Afghanistan for the first time since probably 1979 when the Soviets invaded and most of the present members of the Afghan security forces weren’t even born yet. At CNN though, the truly big story of the year would be that Real Housewife of New Jersey Teresa Giudice has begun her fifteen month prison sentence. While reality show TV cameras will not be allowed in the prison, Mrs. Giudice is hoping she’ll be able to work in the prison salon giving make-up pointers to the other inmates. And Republicans have just taken control of both houses of Congress. That should go well.

In business news, two groups are crazy excited that trade relations are being re-established with the island nation of Cuba. Those groups would be (1) automobile manufacturers who will finally be able to replace all those ’57 Chevys and Fords still being driven there, and (2) collectors of vintage cars who will finally be able to get their hands on actual working ’57 Chevys and Fords. Also in 2015 no company has lost any consumer credit card or other private information to hackers. McDonald’s new advertising, created by a new former advertising agency has begun appearing on TV and the internet. Sadly, the food is the same.

In sports, Ohio State and Oregon have proven once again that the top two football conferences are the Big 10 and the Pac 10. The hell with the SEC. And four teams have been eliminated from the one hundred team NFL playoff system. If they are your teams you know who they are. If not, who cares?

2015 is also memorable for so many entertainment items. Mostly you should know that Back to the Future II took place in 2015 and it doesn’t seem they have been any more accurate in their predictions for the future than were The Jetsons. Hard as it is to believe both The Bachelor and American Idol have returned to American Television. And the year’s big box office hit is the last (hopefully) movie in the Hobbit series, The Hobbit: Stop the Insanity Already.

As always we must sadly report the notable deaths of 2015, former New York Governor Mario Cuomo, ESPN journalist Stuart Scott, actress Donna Douglas, best known for her role as Elly May Clampett in The Beverly Hillbillies, and Grand Ole Opry member Little Jimmy Dickens. We’ll miss them all.

Finally, we end our review on a culinary note. White Castle has added a veggie slider to their menu: carrots, zucchini, broccoli, onions and plenty of grease on their standard tiny little bun. Come on, McDonalds’s. You could have come up with that.

So that’s it. It’s been a great year. Now, on to 2016.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Hero Of The Week

Army Pfc. Daniel F. Guastaferro
Age:  27
1st Battalion
503rd Infantry Regiment
2nd Brigade Combat Team
Died 7 January, 2005
Ramadi, Iraq