Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Head West Young Mr. Yoder

I know that title is a bit of a stereotype, but I swear, every time there is a story about the Amish on TV, the guy's name is Yoder. Makes me wonder about inbreeding, not that there's anything wrong with that. Just because I don't have any attractive cousins doesn't mean nobody else does.

I got a little off track there. What caught my eye the other day was a story about the new Amish migration. Seems the high cost of land in traditional Amish strongholds such as PA, OH and IN is leading Amish families to migrate westward, particularly to Colorado. Between 2002-2008, the Amish population in Colorado went from 0 to over 400. And more are coming. When an acre of cropland back East can cost $4-6,000 compared to an average of $1,200 in Colorado, it makes sense, especially for young families just starting out.

People I know in Ohio who live in counties with large Amish communities consider them to be good neighbors. The slow buggies on county roads and the horse shit on downtown streets can be a hassle, but are really a small inconvenience for most.

But here is the best part about the Amish. The average Amish family has 7 children, meaning that the total population doubles about every 20 years. For those worried about Hispanic or Muslim growth in America, more Amish families could provide a counter balance to the growth of those groups. So I'm recommending a mass conversion to the Amish faith. I wouldn't mind simplifying my life; I've always loved horses and I could be sort of an elder while the young folks do the actual farming. We'll have to negotiate that DVR thing though.


fleshpot said...

it's a great idea, except the beard part which Amish married men must wear. I grew a mustache once, and my marriage almost went to hell: it was the consistency of steel wool! a beard would really finish me off!

GMoney said...

I am disappointed that this was the first time that the "horse shit" label was used. It should accompany every mention of Dick Cheney.

Grumpy said...

G$, I will see that your suggestion is implemented in the future.

Cotter said...

The best thing about the Amish are their Whoopie Pies.

No idea what that name means to them, but it sure makes it somewhat awkward for me to proclaim my love for them to my friends who are unfamiliar with the Amish.

Grumpy said...

Mmmm, Whoopie Pies. An Amish bakery about an hour east of here is the closest place to find them. Road trip.

Anonymous said...

Amish rock! My mother's farm is minutes from a large amish group in PA/Ohio area. We get our tools, our horses shoe'd, shoo-fly pie, etc.

But no one ever seems to know that the amish are very fond of imbibing large amounts of their own homebrewed meads, beers, etc.

If we ever have a sunspot (solar storm) that is large enough to send a huge wave of energy to us, it's going to fry all circuit boards in the world. The amish will not miss a beat... :) The rest of us are going to be up shit creek without electricity.